Dave and I went on our walk on Monday and I really enjoyed it. It was an extraordinarily pleasant evening; the sun was setting with mostly cloudy skies and a nice breeze. In fact, we passed around twenty other people who were out and about in the neighborhood! I’ve been out walking in the evening before, though not on a regular basis, and have never seen that many other folks out enjoying the nice evening. We had to have walked a good mile to mile and a half, I’m very proud of my Dave because he wasn’t even strolling. We had a nice brisk pace going the entire time.

Yesterday at work was another repeat of Monday, although I did have a few more quotes to do. I’ve also started to learn integrated cards in addition to the laser clean cards and integrated labels. I dread learn affixed/blown on labels: there are SO many different types of lining, adhesive, and label materials that it will be a pain to learn it. Thank goodness I’m not likely to learn stencils. Today is not ranking up there as one of my favourite days. I’m back in numbering world rushing to get out a job that is due today. We had run out of labels for the forms last week and Bev even admitted yesterday that she was dragging her feet on getting the labels made. I’m running both dot matrix printers and this particular job runs fast. The big printer prints a stack in 10 minutes and the small printer prints in 18 minutes. So I am running around trying to keep the printers fed with paper (although the affixers can’t keep up with me because they are only running on one machine.) The smaller printer is supposed to print quicker than the large one, I tried to figure out why and couldn’t. At first I wasn’t happy because I want to get this job over with, but after thinking on it I’m not sure I could keep up with two printers that each only takes 10 minutes to print a stack. For this job a stack is 750 sheets of paper.

Tonight is an extra dance rehearsal. My back is starting to twinge from the numbering and I’m just hoping I can hold out tonight and through the week until our performance on Saturday is over. Time to get some more bananas and pull out the heating pad. Ooooo, a nice long, hot shower would be nice. Oh, I want to leave work early. Like every day.

I did not get much done at home last night. I keep saying I’ll do my taxes and then I just don’t think about it when I get home. I also keep thinking about looking up my polling and caucus location so I can go vote early and then participate in the caucus next week. I keep forgetting when I’m not at work. I did, at least, get a waistband pinned to a skirt I’m working on but I wasn’t able to pull myself away from watching Torchwood to sew it in place. I could just eat up the incredibly dashing and heroic Jack Harkness. Or would that be allowing him to….?

I think I’m supposed to do something tomorrow, maybe with Dave? I’m not sure. Oh, I need to get all my dance stuff together. And Friday Dave and I have a date with the Thunderbird roller rink! We are gonna go skating after going to dinner. I’m really looking forward to that, and I hope we start going every week. It’ll be like a regular date night. YAY!

It's not that I'm avoiding work, but there isn't any work for me to do. After spending 5 or 6 weeks in the printer room numbering several large jobs I am very glad to be out of there. There are still a few jobs left to do, but I have to wait for the labels to get made or wait for the labels to be affixed. During those 5 weeks, the work load in the office was pretty heavy and they really needed me to help out with answering phones, working on quotes and converting orders. Now that I'm here there isn't enough for me to do. Ugh. I've gotten to do a few quotes today and I converted 2 orders but that's really it. I filed all of the back logged paperwork that isn't filed up in the racks in the warehouse, I've re-organized my prices and procedures book, I've re-worked my desk space so that I have more counter area, and I've finished filing all the plates I can file. I hate numbering but I think I hate having nothing to do while at work even worse. All I can think about are all the things I could be doing at home. Foremost on my mind is the Visions newsletter I wanted to get out this week but haven't even worked on yet.

This month's newsletter was supposed to feature one of the girls so readers could learn a little more about them. Every time I send out an email about it the girls don't respond; getting info for this project is like pulling a stubborn tooth. Since no one has responded I guess I'll do myself for this month, though I didn't want to do that. It feels too ego-centric to be the one working on this and to be the first Visions girl featured. It probably would have been easier if I had started on this right after the PILOT show was finished. I don't know why I didn't other than the fact it just didn't cross my mind. Shame on me. The up side is it didn't take me very long to do the first newsletter and I didn't know how to work software very well. Now that I have several hours experience with Pages the altering should go quicker, and the actual writing last time didn't take long at all. Huh, that should be encouragement to get this done sooner next time!

This coming Saturday is a new choreography debut for Visions. We're dancing to Fiddle and Drum by A Perfect Circle­ and I just adore what we've done. It's a great all body workout and it is beautiful and almost looks like bellydancing! I wish we had another week to really work it better, I still forget some spots while we're dancing. Hopefully we'll get to run through it lots on Wednesday and run it a few times in the middle of the day on Saturday. Maybe during lunch break at the workshop. I look forward to the audience's reaction to this dance and I hope I don't screw the performance up much! We had a great costume idea for this piece but it just wasn't working. We were hitching up our long skirts to a bustle in the back but because we do some floor work, the length of the bustle was too difficult to dance with. It's a freaking shame. We'll get something worked out by Saturday; we have some t-shirts we're going to fake alter and we'll be doubling up some hip scarves to wear over jeans. My only hesitation is the shirts are brown and the scarves are black. Dark with dark on stage usually doesn't show movement well, and if there is going to be a curtain we're dancing in front of those tend to be dark as well.

Dave bought a pair of rollerblades over the weekend so that we can start going skating together. Our goal is to start going to Thunderbird every week to get exercise and to get used to being on skates again, but then we plan on skating around the neighborhood for exercise. I'm very excited we'll be skating together I think it will loads of fun. Eventually we'll spend the money to get our bikes fixed up, biking around the neighborhood and in the park just across the street would be nice as well. Because the weather is being ridiculously warm today, I hope I can talk Dave into taking a walk with me today. I want to spend some time with him before his class tomorrow and my dance on Wednesday. Oooo, and we're going to go to bed early tonight! It's sad I'm this happy about getting an extra 3 hours of sleep.

I was bad this past week: I didn't go to half my classes. I only went to dance, I really needed the physical exertion and actually wanted more than what we did. We've started on choreography for the end of semester performance so there was, and is going to be, more down time in class than before. I just couldn't bring myself to go to history on Monday after the weekend. The funeral and the driving had me completely unfocused, just going through my work day was a struggle. I kept mixing up orders and making mistakes all over the place; a very unproductive day. Skipping my class on Wednesday was just pure laziness. I couldn't bring myself to sit in a freezing cold room for three hours while the teacher goes over what people should have done at home. That's getting really old.

I don't know what to do about school after this semester. I like having multiple classes because it means I can transfer that much sooner, but it's really tough to balance it with working overtime. I miss being able to cook dinner too, instead of just throwing together bean burritos or frozen dinners. They're getting old. I also keep wavering between what to major in. Yes yes yes I want to do music but I have to be a full time day student to get the required classes. That just isn't possible unless I want collections banging down my door because I have no money. So I think about (astro)physics or geology or anthropology. I could do those in night classes and I enjoy those subjects. Down side to the physics- I haven't had a math class in ten years and I've never actually taken a physics class with the equations and stuff. I just read a lot about astrophysics and quantum mechanics. And what the hell do you do with degrees in geology and anthropology other than teach?! Hell, if I wanted to teach I would already be doing that- I don't have the patience or interest. I'd rather go into (*puke*) business or law. I think back on the career counseling provided in high school and laugh. What a fucking joke. Hell, the whole school was a joke. I can't think of anything I learned from there that doesn't come from band class. Oh, and dance class; that's where I first learned talent comes second to being thin. Hopefully I'll settle on what do to sooner than later.

Visions has decided to go to an event in Atlanta in August. I'm looking forward to our first East Coast show!! I don't know how well known this event is, though. Should be fun and a great opening for us no matter what. We'll probably start discussing what to do for it after Denton Arts & Jazz, which is only a month-ish away. I'm very excited about that because we're re-working Sema and it's turning out better than before. My biggest problem with the previous choreography for that piece was running out of time to finish it. It didn't feel as good to me as the first half, but the first half is even better now. And it will be our first 5 person choreography to be performed!! Lie can be for multiple people we just haven't done it yet, and in theory Arrival(the cabaret) is for any number but one section would need tweaking.

I had a bad morning Friday, which turned out to be an awesome fucking day over all, and was just about as low as I had been in a while. I hate feeling that way but it seems to bring out odd little inspirations from me. I wanted to add more stanzas but couldn't match the rhythm no matter what I tried. A shame I think, but I think it's good enough on its own. Maybe I'll be able to add to it later.

cut up shards of wasted paper
loaded with meaningless words,
multiple editions of fumbled thoughts
discarded for fear of rebuff.

I'm still slightly nauseous from the drive home from the North Texas Irish Festival, but I wanted a break from typing up my U.S. History essay. I don't know if I'm getting more susceptible to motion sickness as I get older, or if it's just Dave's car(there is a terrible smell that comes through the vents when the car is stopped), but every time we go somewhere, I come home and I don't feel completely well for a couple hours. Even if it's only a 15 minute trip I end up feeling unwell. When Daddy drives us down to Kileen and home, I end up feeling the same about half the time. I'm ready for transporters for humans to be invented and put to use.

The festival was an enjoyable distraction to go to. I enjoyed being out in the nice weather with my love. The shopping is just so-so (especially with no money to spend) and I'm not terribly into watching the dancing and listening to the music. There was a fun Canadian band playing while Dave and I ate our homemade potato chips. The fiddler they had kicked much ass, one of the best fiddlers I've ever heard. . . not that I listen to music that uses fiddles much. The food was yummy though. I had the Irish stew for the first time and it was good and extremely filling. Brought some kettle corn home to give me a little fix until Faire opens.

Dance rehearsal was yesterday morning. We have been re-choreographing Sema the passed couple of weeks and while we didn't progress yesterday with new stuff, we did solidify and worked out kinks in counts of the stuff we already have. So far I like our new Sema MUCH better than what we had before. We'll be debuting it at the Denton Arts and Jazz festival at the end of April.

Dad called me yesterday in the early afternoon about dropping down to Kileen to visit with everyone but I decided to pass on it. It would have been great to see Maggie again but I couldn't afford the time away and the dent the trip would have made in my sleep. And I need my rest with school and the overtime I'll be working this week.

The big printing job at work finally got final approval: 400,000 sheets to be crash numbered once on the form and 4 times on the label. I have a month to do this. Then the company is moving to a larger building. Ugh. I hate doing the printing and I hate having scary deadlines like that. Fortunately work got a second dot matrix printer that is faster than the first we had, and I'll be running both at the same time but I still can't help but feel pressure to get this done. 3 of the 5 versions of the forms have already been completely affixed and there are pallets taking up space in the warehouse just waiting for me.... taunting me... pressuring me. I'm going to go into work as early as I can make myself get up this week to see how far I get into printing this week. I'm thinking if I can get in and started by 6:30 every morning and only take 30 minutes for lunch, I should be able to completely finish 2 versions by Friday. The first version is 48k and the second is around 50k, 800 a carton and I can do 2 and a half cartons or so every 40 minutes with both printers running. The worst part: I have absolutely nothing to do while the printing is going on! I get to literally watch the paper come out of the printers until each case is completed. Pack the case, watch the paper, repeat until the day ends. Yay. I get a month of that. I'm totally going to try and cheat and bring in some cross stitch to do when no one is looking.

I'm glad the weather is warming and the days are getting longer.

Wow. I never thought I would go nearly a year without writing in my LJ, it's crazy to think about. There have been so many things I've wanted to write about since last April but there were many instances of not having enough time, and others where when I did get the time I didn't feel up to the task of writing. Unfortunately, I often get the urge to write in my journal at work where I don't have access to the internet most of the time and the times I do have access, I'm likely to get caught and get in trouble.

I don't know if I want to try and re-cap the highlights, so to speak, of the year, or if I should just go ahead and start from this point out.

I'm back in school and I'm taking 3 classes this semester and working overtime at work. I'm hoping to write more in my journal (shit, it seems like I say that in nearly every post I put up) but I can't promise myself that I will with most of my down time being spent asleep.

I quit Aaron Brother's Art and Framing because I was only working part time hours but had my same bills, I was falling desperately behind on various payments. I was without a job for a month until I found an awesome temp agency, Venturi Staffing in Addison, that found me an opening at Brandt Affixing, Inc. and I became a permanent employee. I've learned to work in various areas there, the majority of which are terribly boring and dull. But they pay me well enough to do something a ten year old could do. AND I don't have deal with people. Thank god! In August my mother and I went to Albequerque, New Mexico to take an intensive dance weekend with Amaya. It was pretty good, although the level of the other dancers was lower than we expected since Amaya specifically requested experienced dancers only to sign up. I guess one person's money is just as good as another's. It was because of the low level of experience and skill that we didn't learn as much as was planned by Amaya for the weekend, but I still learned some great moves. Plus I was totally inspired when I went back home and spent the next month seeing choreographies in my head to nearly every piece of music I heard. It was great, and I wrote down as many as I could. It was a few months after that that I became unusually inspired to write some poetry. It had been years since I wrote any. I think I may post what I came up with later on. Maybe any readers out there would be interested in commenting on them for me. I started school in the fall- U.S. History and U.S. Government. I dropped the government class because the teacher was so awful. No kidding, she would literally re-write what was in the text book on the board in class and make us repeat, verbatim, what we read for homework. Waste of my time to read the text at home and then have to re-read for three hours a week during class. If I'm wasting my money I don't also need to be wasting my time. Ugh. Ended the semester with an 'A' in my History class. Found out my uncle has throat cancer back in September, then learned it was advanced and had spread to his bones. Since mid-December we keep 'false' calls that he's doing worse. Every time, we think this is it, this is the time he dies but he is so stubborn and so afraid to die, he keeps coming through. Some people may think that is lucky and a blessing, but I can't help but feel differently. But then, I've seen him how he is now.... a 45 year old man who looks more 85. It's not pretty and I feel for my dad and his other siblings; I can't imagine how rough it is for them. But the holidays were good. I got a sewing machine for Christmas I've been dying to set up and use, but I haven't gotten the chance yet. Gar! The House of Hate moved mid-January.... sometimes I feel like I'm driving up to Oklahoma when I come home from work, but it's a much better house than the last one we had. Well, minus the kitchen totally open to the living room. It's impossible to enjoy a show when there is cooking or cleaning going on. Diffusion happened shortly after the move. It went well enough, I suppose. I didn't expect much from it since we didn't give ourselves enough time to plan and advertise, but that's what next year is for. Plus, I knew I would be moving when we set up the date for Diffusion and warned everyone I would be useless.... I don't think the believed me or remembered. *shrug* What can ya do? Not much else has happened since Crazy January. I've had all sorts of stress over all sorts of little things, but that's nothing new. Same old financial woes, same old inability to keep my car fit and up-to-date, same old problems with not enough time.

I guess that was the year in quick review, I guess I'll end this post with one of those poems I mentioned. . . . . *reads* No, not those... too depressing for a return post . . . . egh, too long for a long post . . . . here we go! Short, sweet, and hopeful.

stop the storm
light the lantern
come home to me
© Lori Hilbert-McGaw

Steps Saturday: 9,340. Steps Sunday: 13,190. That's a lot of walking for a Sunday. Work wasn't busy, but I had a bit of stock to put up. Then Dave and I went to Target and then B&N. I bought a book I've been wanting; I read the latest book in a series without knowing it was part of a series. Even though I was mostly lost in the story I enjoyed how it was written so I bought the first book in the series, Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. It's a historical fiction centered on the Scottish Highlands in the 1740s with a bit of sci-fi and romance thrown in. Not something I would consider my cup of tea, but I enjoy the story.

I have actually started my laundry today... I just need to put it in the dryer at this point and then put it up once it's done. I'm trying to shrink my work pants... I think I lost some inches in the weeks between ordering my pants and receiving them, because I can't walk around work without them falling off my ass. While losing a pants size is an awesome thing, it's rather annoying that it had to happen after just spending $50 on work pants. If they don't shrink up I'll have to order another pair and I was hoping to spend my little bit of extra money on some new renn clothes, not work pants. Yay for life and the unexpected?

Dave and I are meeting for lunch shortly... ooo, I need to wrap this up and get dressed... and afterwards I'm planning on trying out my new matt cutter I got at Michael's yesterday. I had a 50% off coupon. Heh, heh, heh. 50% off coupons make me happy, especially when I can use them on something I've been waiting to buy. I find it rather satisfying to buy an item I wanted for half off... it almost feels like I tricked the company, but I know in reality they coerced me into it. That's why they put out the damn things to begin with.

So my boys are at the Faire today... I asked for today off about a month ago so I could also go to Faire, but my manager is an ass. I was really very tempted to call in sick today so I could go out, too. I don't know why, but I really enjoy getting dressed up in costume and walking around the Faire... I guess us geeks are easily amused. I've been saving up to buy a new skirt and a new chemise of some sort and I had planned on buying them today. Looks like I'll just have to wait until Easter Sunday to go out there. I'm missing fresh kettle corn! Mmmmmmmmmm. I love Faire food! And I love watching men dressed in costume, it's almost as good as men in tuxedoes.

Needless to say, I think I'm going to be worthless at work because my mind will not be on any tasks.

I had the last two days off and I did not wear my pedometer at all. I was pretty lazy both days. Thursday I did manage to get out and take some photos, although I did not get any good shots. It was really windy and close up filters don't have the best optics. I have chromatic aberration all over the place in the shots I took. I really need to save up for a macro lens and macro bellows and a ring flash. Then I'll just need a wide angle lens... say, a 20mm, and I'll be set. Yesterday I sat and played Sim City for a few hours. I also called NCSA about the hold on my transcript. It turns out I only had to take an exit interview on the Direct Loans website. I felt rather silly taking the exit interview (a 10 question quiz) because I've been repaying my loan for five effing years now. You'd think they would realize I already know all that stuff since I've been paying off my loan on time and regularly for so long. Stupid. At least now that's done and all I have to do is fill the out the application for CCCC. Already sent in FAFSA, and now that my transcript will be released I'll be all set for fall.... I hope. I can't help but worry that something will happen and I won't be able to go back to school.

Man, I really don't want to go into work. But since I'm not on my way to Faire it would be ridiculous at this point to not go in. Alright enough complaining, I suppose. I'll just go get dressed. I hope at the very least we are busy with customers so the day goes by fast.

I did not wear my pedometer on Monday, and I guarantee I walked no more than a couple thousand steps. I did, at least, do some dancing. I went over to Jenn's to help her teach Jess our cabaret number and Pukaea. Then her sister in law came over and we, hopefully, clarified some things. It was probably difficult with two people there, but I hope she was able to pull something from it.

Yesterday I did wear my pedometer, but I think it got reset while I was moving giant frames. At about one o'clock it said I had only walked 1300 steps and there was no way possible I had walked that few. We weren't as slow business wise as we had been, it was pretty steady. So I have no idea how much I walked yesterday, but I did get a workout from moving around large frames. I was sweaty and covered in dust. Ew, dust. Then I came home, played Sim City and then Rune Bound. I actually hear my Sim City calling to me now. I think I'll go get my camera and take some photos before I settle in. I won't get to play much before I need to take a nap; I'm going into work for a closing shift and then I have to go back for truck tonight. Plus, I requested days off so I could go to Faire, and I got none of them! I'm really bothered by that. I want a fucking weekend day off! I would be nice to see my boyfriend for a change and go enjoy a day down at Scarborough. Arg! I am filled with hate.

If anything else of interest has happened to me, it's slipped my sleepy little brain.

Women Enjoy Humor More
This is an appalling article. 7% percent of people polled said cheating on your spouse is acceptable and 5% said cheating on taxes was acceptable. WTF!!?
Proof Americans are stupid.
Scientists Make Water Run Uphill

I've set my pedometer upstairs and I'm too lazy to get it. I walked somewhere between 5,500 and 6,000 steps. Not very many considering Mom and I did some shopping yesterday. Nothing terribly interesting; I finally purchased black and coloured safety pins for dancing, two cross stitch samplers, and some buttons. Ate out for lunch and dinner yesterday. Black Eyed Pea was lunch and it was good except for the smelly burping afterwards while shopping. Dinner was at El Fenix with Mom, dance group, and guests. We discussed plans and guidelines for a show we're organizing to host. I tell you what, I need some throw away income to be able to put into this. I wish I could find an inexpensive hobby or two.

I work today... thrilling. I would love to stay home, but at least I got this morning off from dancing. Trudi has to do the Faire promoting thing at Grapevine Mills Mall and she had to be there at ten or eleven or something like that, so it wasn't possible for us to rehearse. We'll just have to get on track that much faster next week to teach Jess Pukaea for Dance For the Planet.

*sigh* No more working weekends! Blech.

Steps today: 5,324. I only worked for four hours today; the MOD this evening allowed me to leave work before the store closed. As much as I need the half hour's worth of money, I was too damned bored to hang around any longer. I almost forgot to pick up my paycheck too, but when I got to the street to turn into the neighborhood I remembered and turned around. One must get paid the measly dollars one suffers to earn!

I took a nap before going into work. It's so sad that I slept until 10:30 am and then I couldn't stay awake any longer at 3 pm. Working truck really fucks up my rest. I've felt exhausted all day, even though the truck last night was tiny. We only had 300 pieces. I was so tired, that during my nap I dreamt that I was sleepy. I have never experienced that before! I was slightly amused when I woke up.

I received my divine book of His Holiness today. I will have to confess how disappointed I am with what I received. The title of the book, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, lead me to believe that this work would have some fake stories on the history of our making, the earth, so on, etc. Like the Bible, or the Koran. My friends and I were looking forward to starting a Masonic Lodge based off the writings of him. But, no. It's just more of the same stuff you can read off of the website. It's written as a fake science book with 'proofs' and 'theories.' I wanted a fake religion book, not a fake science book! I am let down by his Noodle-i-ness. It's still an amusing read, just not what I was hoping for. The world turns on.

Stupid manager, again. He didn't bother to look at the calendar he has posted in the office where folks write down what days they need/want off from work. I penciled myself off for April 8 so I could go to the Faire with my beloved, but I'm scheduled to work that day. I haven't had a weekend off since early January. I'm about ready to lose my control and patience. I keep reminding myself I don't have the luxury to quit because I have bills that can't be late. Next week I'm scheduled for only 28 hours (ouch!!!), so I will try to get my pathetic butt over to some temp agency near by and let them find me a job, since I'm so awful at getting one for myself. Thank god for white zinfandel and soda with rum.

I managed to do something incredibly stupid a few months back. I was pulling my B&W photos off of Scrapbook (LJ's photo hosting side) to par down the size of the photos so I could upload more, when I managed to delete them off my hard drive. (I felt really dumb when I realized how I managed that) So I have all of about 2 B&W photos on my photo gallery. I've been looking for them on my collection of poorly labeled burned CDs so I could re-size them and re-upload them, but I haven't been able to find them yet. That's rather disturbing since I pulled them off of CDs to Scrapbook originally. I thought I had gotten them onto one of my DVD archives, but I guess I was mistaken. As soon as I locate the CDs I'm looking, I'll be making a new DVD archive.

No, I haven't called NCSA yet. I'm building myself up to call on Monday, 'cause that'll be a great way to start the week! Yay.

I've really been feeling the urge to play the piano lately. It makes me want to go to Target and buy a lame Casio keyboard; 'cause a lame one would be better than not one at all. Wanting to practice the piano has me wanting to practice my oboe. I can't seem to get around my self-consciousness to practice while the guys are home, though. I kind of realize they don't really have a comparison to judge me against, but I do. I'm embarrassed to sound bad to myself because I know how good I used to sound. Hell, I have recordings to prove it! I'm thinking about this everyday, so hopefully I'll eventually get over myself enough to begin practicing on my own. The only thing I've loved so wholly and unconditionally, the only thing I've given my total self to was my saviour, was my downfall. And I hope it will save me again.

Steps for Tuesday: 5850.
I didn't record my steps yesterday because I was working in the morning and then the truck at night; I didn't know where to add my steps from the truck too. I do know I didn't walk very much yesterday, although I did finally pull out my rollerblades. I'm not very good at braking. I probably spent ten minutes just in the driveway trying to get used to a heel brake. Every time I use it, I veer off to the right. It's annoying! I haven't figured out how to stay straight while braking yet.

Tuesday was game night. Once again, we started late. I don't think it mattered too much for this past week because there wasn't much for us to role play out before getting to the good stuff. We'll be starting that next week, er, this coming week? Hopefully we'll get some more in depth role playing going on, rather than the surface RP we did so we could get to the main plot. I'm gonna see if I can talk folks into starting while we're still eating.

Didn't do much else yesterday: watched Lost, watched Ghost Hunters, watched a new show on Sci-Fi that sucks, and played Rune Bound with John. Rune Bound was a close game this time. John was pretty well ahead right before End Game, but I managed to position myself to, at first glance, tie up the game once all the giants were defeated. Turned out, he had more XP counters than myself. I wasn't surprised at that, there were a few turns I couldn't get anywhere with the crappy dice I rolled.

I just got an email from NCSA in regaurds to processing my transcript request; they say they can't until I contact the financial aid office because I have a hold with them?! I completely paid them back for the fall 2000 trimester! I remember because it took me forever and it wasn't easy for me to pull together the money... I was working at Toys R Us at the time. I'm sure I recorded all that suck ass drama in my LJ. The only thing I can think of is they think I didn't pay for the semester I tried to return to school. But I never returned. Going part time was incredibly much more expensive than going full time and I didn't have the money for it. So I never paid, never registered for classes, and never attended. *sigh* Why has NCSA always been such a thorn in my side? It's like the universe likes to stab me because I love music so much. At least it's not too bad. After all, that school had the most depressing campus ever. It was only the music program I enjoyed, not the school overall. Anyway, I hope it's nothing and it gets cleared up easily or I can't attend CCCC in the fall, because NCSA will refuse to send my transcript. *yell*

I don't really have any plans for today. I go into work at 5, but I feel pretty sure I'm going to sit around on my butt until then. I'll be using my day off tomorrow to spend it with Mom. I must remember to get my paycheck from work tonight so I can deposit it tomorrow morning.

Seems like I haven't done one in a while. Aren't you lucky you get to see this?!?





What type of Fae are you?

Steps for Monday: 11,050.

I ended up going to work for closing shift yesterday instead of working today. I realized early yesterday morning that I was originally supposed to close tonight, but that would clash with the GOT game we play on Tuesdays. And I so did not want to miss tonight. I have some role playing to do! Wheeeeeeeeee. So a co-worker was kind enough to switch her shift with me; I worked hers yesterday and she'll work mine tonight.

And yes, it's true. Chocolate has miraculous healing powers, or I just had some sort of weird placebo effect without knowing it. I was starting to get really bad cramps late in the afternoon- getting dizzy/light headed, tired, and a really tight lower back thrown on top for fun. I had just enough change in my pocket for some sort food, a taco or a candy bar, and I opted for a candy bar. King size Butterfinger Crisp. Yuuuum. Well, the sugar immediately helped me feel less dizzy and tired. About an hour after I finished the bar, my cramps and back pain were completely gone. Totally gone. Not hidden like with pain killers, where you still can tell you hurt but it's just not registering. I get really bad, strong cramps. Strong enough to cause me to pass out and puke, in that order, and taking 1000 mg of ibuprofen will usually dull the pain enough so I can nap for a few hours. But it has never worked as well as the chocolate did. I think I need to keep more chocolate in the house. You never know...

I've come to the conclusion that some customers try to be stupid on purpose because they think they'll be able to get their way and not have to pay full price for things. We have a four sided gondola at work that has clearance frames on three sides and clearance on the other two (one side is completely empty). Well the two sides that are clearance have signs on those sides only. I had a lady come up to me, hand me a frame and asked how much that frame was. I told her it was the price on the box and she argued back that it was in the clearance section. I thought she had found it in front of our big clearance mish-mash table and I told her I was sorry, but that I couldn't control where other customers left items. She said, no, there's a whole bunch of them. So I followed her, and lo!, she had been looking at the clearance gondola but at the one side that didn't have a sign! Moron. I told her those were regular price. I pointed out to her one, there was no sign advertising that side is clearance and two, the clearance sign clearly says: "Priced as marked." (I added the italics) DUH! I wanted to slap her. Wasting my time like that. If you're too cheap to pay full price, then just don't fucking buy it! Easy!

I sent in some resumes for data entry clerk positions and filing clerk positions. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I'm sure data entry sucks, typing all day will probably aggravate my wrist, but at least I am not forced to interact with people. I would much prefer the filing clerk position. It's with one of the thousand medical centers here in Plano. Pray to the mighty FSM I'll get that job.

I got some free mat scrap from work yesterday. My thought is to mat some of my photography using scrap, so I don't have to pay for it, cut my own mats, frame them in really cheap, but not cheap looking, frames and sell my artwork for a bit of extra money. Probably a long shot, and I need to find a suitable place to sell. I probably can't get anything on auction sites. Just a thought and since I'm using trashed mats, it won't cost me very much to do. If they don't sell, I can give them for gifts as that's about how much I would spend on the frames.

That seems to cover everything that has been going on and everything I wanted to write about. Other than the weather has turned cool again. This is spring, not autumn. The weather should be turning warm, not cool. Crazy Texas weather.

Today, March 28 is the most holiest of days. Our prophet has decreed this day as a day of rest, a day of pasta contemplation, a day where we no longer hide our pirate-y ways. We must honour the midgets and the trees and the mountains. No food other than noodley goodness must pass between our lips on this day, as we finally see His word written down on paper for the first time. Yes, that's right! The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is finally released to the public! You need one to learn the stringy truth so you can bring saucy light to the uneducated masses.

Have you heard the good news today? He is Risen!!!

Steps today: 13,600. Don't worry, I counter-acted the extra steps today by eating Blue Bell ice cream with Magic Shell topping. Mmmmmmmmmm. It was worth the extra steps!

Work was not much of anything. Not many customers, not many tasks needed to get completed. Finished numerically ordering mat scraps of pieces already cut down to size for re-use. There is still a box remaining that needs to get cut down, matched with the correct item number and then organized. Yay.

As much as my manager annoys me as a manager, it's good to know he is a decent man and human being. He's filing for divorce from his wife and is applying to get custody of his son because she's a loser, basically. Even now while they're separated, he's still paying all her bills, and his own, and taking care of his kid most of the time. I really like knowing that there are some men in the world who aren't total jackasses, even if they do behave that way at work. I hope he is able to get custody of his son, he really conveyed to me today how much he wanted he wanted his son with him and not with her.

Ummmm.... brain fart. I was about to write something else, but the bottle of white zinfandel has addled my brain. I have tomorrow off from work, yay! Faire is coming up, yay! There are some clothing pieces I'm looking forward to purchasing from Moresca and the Frock Shop.

Ah-ha! The zinfandel loses. This morning off of one of my LJ communities there was a link to a synesthesia website that just opened for us freaks to record our sense associations. I scored as a synesthesia on all but one test- where they put up the alpha numerics with colours I had picked mixed with alpha numerics with colours I didn't pick and I had to click the 'It matched' or 'It didn't match' buttons. There were a few times I clicked the wrong button because the buttons weren't in the order I would have put them. One thing I was disappointed with the tests is that there was no way to take into account that one may have different levels of colours, for instance, for one particular letter or number. For me, the latter letters in the alphabet are much more complex than the other characters. 'X' and 'Y' are both colorless at first, but upon closer inspection separate out into different colours: a dark purple and brown/grey, respectively. Kind of like black ink on a tissue that got wet, you'll see purple and green and sometimes a red. Or maybe more like glancing through frosted acrylic that seems colorless but has colour right behind it when you actually look at it. Anyway, looking at the tables from the colours I had to choose for the characters, they are all pretty close. I didn't take the time to try and match every colour exactly, either. I got close enough and that was good enough for me. Would that be lazy synesthesia? *giggle*

In case you're interested, ( here are my associations. )



I was going to do stuff tomorrow, but I am totally wimping out. I'll probably just sit in front of the computer all day even though there are a hundred other things I need and I want to get done. Go Lori and her lack of motivation! Don't I just rule.

Steps for Friday: 4200-ish
Steps for Saturday: 9100-ish

Nothing much is going on. We had dance yesterday morning; we're teaching Jess Pukaea for Dance for the Planet at the end of April. My schedule for work sucks this week. I work Tuesday 1p-9:30p, Wednesday 9:30a-3p, Thursday 1a-to when the truck is done, Thursday 5p-9:30p and then Friday off. There's nothing quite like going to work every twelve hours for four shifts, especially when it's four shifts in three days. I'm going to be tired and cranky. At least it's a full week of hours, I suppose. Bills don't disappear because your manager doesn't know how to write a decent schedule.

Really, if anyone hears of a job opening please let me know. It would be great to have a job and a life again.

Yay for the beautiful weather yesterday.

Steps on Wednesday: 8,221. I could have taken more steps at work, we were really slow, or even had gone for a walk once I got home. I only worked for six hours yesterday and I'm only working another six today. Even though business was slow yesterday I didn't get much work done. There were just enough customers coming in and calling that we were running around, but they weren't buying anything. They were just wrecking the store and leaving, and I spent a good part of the day putting up stock taken down instead up just putting up our new stock.

I really am hating the cold weather.

I just got an email from Buick GM here in Plano, they one about two minutes away from the house. They saw my resume on Careerbuilder.com and are inviting me to an interview next week for a sales position. I hate sales, I hate selling to people, and I'd probably have to buy dress suits for this job to wear everyday. And dress shoes, yuck! But I've always been under the impression that car salesmen make good money. I don't know what to do. I'm thinking I should go to the interview and maybe try the job out on a part-time basis, that way I can keep working at Aaron Brothers and I won't be left hanging if I decide to quit because I absolutely hate selling cars. I welcome suggestions and advice!

Yes, I did get some laundry done last night. A load is washed and dried. So plan this afternoon is to finish the second load and put it all away. Other than that I'll probably sit my happy butt in front of the TV all night like I did yesterday. I have tomorrow off with nothing pressing that needs to be done. I'll probably send off some more resumes. Oh! I need to remember to send my taxes and transcript request off into the mail. I've got them filled out with the checks, I just keep forgetting to put a stamp on them and put them in the mailbox. I'll have to remember to do that tomorrow.

Time to eat breakfast before work.

Check out one of my nifty new icons I can have.... THANK YOU LIVEJOURNAL!

Steps for Monday: 5356. It was my day off from work. I managed to do more walking on a non-work day than some people get in on a work day! That's sad. We welcomed spring in with a circle at Jenn's lead by Lisha on Monday. Did the normal stuff: opening, writing and burning, eating and drinking. We also did eggs over the chakras to absorb negative energies. I've never believed about chakras*, but rainbows are always pretty, yet when Lisha started on me at my feet, something tickled! That was pretty crazy. I could not stop laughing for the life of me until she was nearly done... just at the head and crown is when I managed to calm down. Went by too fast and she didn't do my shoulders and arms like I requested. I'm thinking we're gonna do eggs from now on in circles. I bet Holly would enjoy it. I felt much better afterwards, and today was great. I felt really good, calmed, and centered.

*I'm a bad, bad pagan. I don't believe in most things, I don't believe about most things. I am very much skeptical and suspicious and incredulous about spiritual topics.

Welcome Spring!

I did manage to work on my room yesterday. I didn't get all the laundry put away, but I got most of it. There's only one load of clothes and towels that need to get done, and I should be able to do that tomorrow after work. I wanted to try out my new roller blades but as usual, I wimped out due to the cold. Lori hates cold.

Steps today: 10,944. Ooooo, almost hit eleven thousand. I bet I could have if I had taken Lacy for a walk today, or if I had walked around the store more before going home. Didn't take Lacy out because... can anyone guess? Because it was cold. I don't like the cold!

Work was pretty slow today so I actually got to complete tasks. I forgot how nice it is to have physical evidence that you worked! Just helping customers all day is not rewarding at all. You have nothing to show that you accomplished anything at the end of the day, and I like to feel like I've done something when it's all over. Perhaps that is the biggest reason I'm so unhappy in retail. There's not a lot of chances to feel pride in your work because most of your energy goes into work that is intangible and immeasurable. So with no proof you've done anything all day and dealing with ignorant customers who like to berate you for no damn reason, it's really hard to stay positive and focused about, well, anything.

It's been a while since I've worked the open shifts at work and I much prefer them to closing shifts. The day seems to go by much faster; it could be because you can see the angle of the sunlight changing. Night is just... night. Dark is dark, there isn't a difference between six o'clock dark (I've only worked this job during winter, mind you) and nine o'clock dark. Everyday I work, until Saturday, is an opening shift. Thank goodness! And no truck this week, although it may or may not be my turn again for next week. And I don't go in on Saturday until 5! Yay, we may be able to get extra stuff accomplished at dance this week. We're supposed to be bringing cabaret outfits and see who can wear what and how Pukaea looks in sequins and fringe.

I sent in a few resumes in over the weekend. The one I was really hoping to hear back from, Mosaic, hasn't called me yet. And before you people start pestering me about calling them, there wasn't a contact number to call. So don't bother irritating me.

We finally got to play Game of Thrones. John just 'had' to fly out to Vegas for work so we missed last week. I enjoyed the little bit we did and I'm looking forward to future nights... I'm hoping I can get my character to fuck up the GM's, er, important NPCs' plans. Heh, heh, heh. Probably won't succeed, since Laura wasn't able to weasel what she wanted out of her main House. But there is still time, oh yes, there is still time to throw kinks into the works!

Paid account users on LJ now have an extra 30 userpics! The little things in life make me happy. I uploaded all the pics I have that I really like and I haven't even filled in half my allotment. I need to go LJcon hunting... make some of my own from my photos, even.

Steps for Sunday: 10,035. Honestly, it doesn't seem as though I walk around that much at work. Especially yesterday. We had an unusually slow Sunday because of all the rain. So I'm walking four to five miles a day just by working. I don't know if I should be happy I'm getting exercise or remain bitter because it's retail.

Speaking of the rain, because I was at work the past two days I had no idea that Dallas, Grand Prairie, Richardson, Garland and Fort Worth got so much rain! Richardson and Garland were up to almost 10" at the news cast. Here in Plano, by last night's count, we topped out under 5". I thought the rain was unusually long and heavy but I had no idea there were pieces of the cities under water. Suck!

I got happy news this morning... We're celebrating the equinox! *squeeee* I need to figure out what I want to bring...

My plan for today is to work on my room. Once that is cleaned up (read: put away laundry for change. I really want new dressers from Ikea) I can clean out my poor car. My car is a disaster area and I hate driving around when it's so cluttered. But then, I'm not really that big on driving around.

*sigh* It seems I'm never going to get my car in for an oil change and state inspection. If I get the merchandising position with Mosaic, that will help bring me more money... I hope. It is a job where I will be traveling around, so hopefully the money I make for the job is more than what I'll be spending on gas. I really need to find a way to sell my photography. I've seen some of the crap that is for sale as posters in stores, and my shots are better. I need to find me a sales person since I don't deal well with people.

We played Rune Bound again last night. Yes, we're addicts. We also had chocolate cookies. I put peanut butter on top one of mine and that was pretty tasty.

Steps today: 11,108. It seemed like I walked less today than yesterday but I was obviously wrong. Most of those steps were taken at work because we didn't do any dancing at dance this morning. Wow, that seems like a whole other day ago. We discussed various dance events we could perform at, what pieces we want to work on next, and our own event we will be hosting in January. It's going to be a night of dance... based on the idea of an inappropriate hafla, only it's not a hafla. We're requiring taped submissions be sent in before folks are allowed to perform. It's going to be a butt load of work, especially with the other dance things going on and each of our personal lives. It's weird that work gets in the way of me being able to attend dance events yet at the same time I don't make enough money to attend many events. It's the worst of both worlds!

I've been wondering for the past month how I've been able to maintain my weight loss from before I got the flu, and now that I have a pedometer I know why. If I'm walking around 10,000 steps everyday just at work, that's all I need. I need to get back following the Weight Watchers points so I can start losing weight again. Twenty more pounds will put me back at my low average and that will be good enough for me!

Work wasn't too bad today. I worked with some customers that really appreciated the effort I put into helping them and they thanked me. That always makes the day more tolerable.

The boys are waiting for me so we can play our Crack Rune Bound board game.

I need to 'do betta.' At my last entry I was all stoked to write in my journal more often and I was convined that I would stick to it. Well, shock of shocks, I haven't. I need more focus in my life... I have an idea on what I want to try and now I need to get what I need and just do it.

The equinox is coming up and I'm looking forward to that, especially since we missed Imbolc. Holly and Lisha hold great circles and they are the highlight of my seasons. Imbolc is actually the first holiday we missed since the Beltaine last year... I'll need to ask off of work as soon as we know which day we're getting together on.

I bought a pedometer yesterday while I was out shopping with Mom. Yesterday I walked about 8,000 steps after I got it and we did a good amount of walking before the purchase, so I'm thinking I walked about 10,000. Today I've taken over 10,866 steps (I took off the pedometer to write this and then got back up again). I read in the most recent issue of Weight Watchers magazine that taking 10,000 steps a day will help you maintain weight, but if you want to lose weight you need to take at least 15,000 steps. I bought two new work shirts at Target while with Mom. I also finally broke down and bought the inline skates I've been wanting to get since I moved here three years ago. I said 'fuck it.' I'm looking forward to getting out and skating. My legs could use some building up; I used to have very shapely legs.

I want to listen to my iTunes more... I am gaining a collection of music through Indy and my roommates' collections that I haven't really listened to yet and therefore I don't know them.

I finally received my custom made work pants I ordered from JC Penny's this week. They almost fit correctly... the seem slightly too small in the roundness of the buttocks area, strangely enough. I've never had that problem with pants before. That's why when I was ordering I ordered the normal butt instead of the rounder butt. My ass is mostly flat, but thankfully not as flat as men's.

I've missed place my day planner if anyone comes across it.

VIND danced last Saturday at Kismet to Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy." It's a really cute routine that the audience seemed to enjoy and get into. It seemed like the dance flew by while we were dancing. Several people said they wished our number was longer, so we did good! Always leave them wanting more. We're dancing at Dance For The Planet which is at the end of April.

I found out today that Phillip is getting married. I haven't talked to him in a really long time; last I had heard from him he had just broken up with another chick. I have to say that I have never been so weirded out before, and there is no way to explain or put words to it.

I'd like to re-inforce once again how much I'm not a people person. Housemates' friends are over and I'm so avoiding the living room.

I re-worked my resume today for an awesome looking job. I will be working on the cover letter this weekend and that should prove interesting as I've never written a cover letter before. But I really want this job- Merchandiser with Mosaic. I love merchandising, I think it's the best part about retail. I used to enjoy stocking, but that is such a repetative job that offers no challenges and no rewards. There is nothing better than turning a lousy looking space of shelving or peg board into a brillantly produced area that neatly showcases the product. I always feel proud of my work after I finish a section and I step back and see how much better it looks than it did before.

I helped Jenn this week in painting Gabriel's room for his new theme. It was fun. I was very glad to be painting and helping rather than working at Aaron Brothers.

This evening at work wasn't too awful. It was actually pretty dead for most of the day. We had no where near the amount of business that has been coming through. I was able to help Dawn out in the frame shop putting together orders. I've been helping her out somewhere between one and two weeks. Putting together custom orders is extraordinarly more interesting than ringing customers' purchases at the register. I enjoy it also because I'm not dealing with customers period. And why do people think that custom framing is cheap? Duh, it's custom.... hellooooo.

Dance tomorrow morning, work tomorrow evening. Don't want to go into work tomorrow. One of y'all hire me... I'm trainable.

you gave me the good, now give me the bad!

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=tsiobo

I'm always curious what others think about me, how they perceive me.

http://kevan.org/johari?name=tsiobo

Well my day started off with arriving at work to our truck shipment arriving about eight hours too late. It's either corporate's fault or the drivers: The Galleria store recently had inventory so as far as they knew they were not scheduled to receive a shipment this week. Well, corporate office had the Galleria on their lists, or whatever, for receiving a shipment. So the truck gets to Galleria and of course there is no one there at the store. The truck stays all morning until someone arrives at 9. When they break and open the seal, there's no product for Galleria! Of course this pushes back the shipping times for all the other stores.... We have one truck drive from California with product for several stores at a time. After Galleria, it gets to our store, and from us up to the Frisco location. Jesus. How hard can something you do many times during the year really be? It's corporate's policy to not have shipments go out to stores within a week on either side of inventory, so how exactly coporate fucked this up is a mystery to me. Doing one's own job isn't that hard. It's just retail for christ's sake. Jeez.

I would like to mention that working the truck in work shoes SUCKS. It's bad enough my work clothes got filthy, but having my feet ache from lousy shoes and rubbed raw at my toe because of my trouser socks is really too much. Bleh.

I had an unbelievable lady come into the store today. I was in the back of the store where I had just finished helping another customer and I was putting frames back where they belong. The doorbell goes off, so I know someone's just come in and I obviously start heading for the door to greet them. Before I could completely turn around, this lazy, self-important bitch yells "Hello?" as though we were completely ignoring her. When I get to the front, she's still yelling by the way, she says she left some photos here and she needs me to get them for her because her little girl is in the car. DON'T FUCKING LEAVE YOUR CHILDREN IN THE GODDAMNED CAR!!!! She won't shut her bitchy mouth for one second so I can look for her pictures in peace to get her the fuck out of there. She keeps going on about how Marla set them aside at the custom counter, they're in a white bag, blah blah blah blah blah, as though I'm not looking for them. Little cunt! ARRRRRG! I am really sick of these "parents" leaving their little kids - toddlers and babies - in the vehicle "just for a second" because they are too lazy to get them out of the car seat. Your little errand is not going be as fast as you think it is. You cock suckers nearly always manage to come in when we are busy, so of course we're not going to drop everything for you right then.... YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT YOUR CHILD IN THE CAR! There is NEVER any reason at all to leave your kid in the car, you fithly little whores. Don't be lazy, take care of your kids. If you're running late, the fucking be late. Which is worse? Being late or having your kid lock themselves in the car, having a thief take your car with your kid in it, or your kid dying from heat? I think I have reached the point where if another one of those assholes comes into the store and needs my help that I am going to make them stand there at the front of the store while I call the police on them, and stare them down while I do it. People are free to parent the way they want, but leaving your children in the car alone is not parenting. It is neglect and it's terribly dangerous.

DON'T FUCKING LEAVE YOUR CHILDREN IN THE GODDAMNED CAR!!!!

DON'T.

Christ! That pisses me off. They do it in the summer, too!

I was hoping that I would get to spend the evening with Dave, doing something together. But, I couldn't come up with anything I really wanted to do that didn't cost a ton of money. I have this irritating habit of wanting to do something, yet I don't want to go out anywhere. That makes it really difficult to do something. There are some days my life is really lame, and this evening was one of those times.

As far as painting is concerned, I think I'm going to do some works based off of some photographs I've taken. I also want to paint a version of one of my stained glass pieces. I think that could end up really neat looking with the bright colours separated by strong black lines. I also need to motivate myself to get outside and take more photographs. I really enjoy taking photos, I find it works like meditation for me. I get absorbed in what I'm doing and I enjoy the results - my photos - from that time. Hmmmm, maybe I should do some new self portraits now that I have a new look with my awesome new hair. I wonder how difficult it would be to take self portraits while choreographing my new dance pieces. I don't think that would work... although I could probably dance a few counts here and there with the camera on the self timer. I need to get the IR remote. That would be much easier.

I was bored on Monday, I had the day off with really not much to do. I got up early(-ish) to deposit my check into my account and then I went to Michael's and bought some more canvas boards and canvas paper so I can keep playing with my painting. I still got home before eleven in the morning and I really didn't have anything else I wanted or needed to do. After wandering around the house for a couple of hours I decided to go ahead and finally bleach my hair so I could dye it purple. I ran into some interesting occurrences. First of all, the lady from Sally's Beauty Supply seriously under estimated just how thick my hair was; and seeing as how I have never bleached my hair before, I didn't think to double or triple the amount of bleach I would need. So I ended up with a rather blotchy looking bleach job. Not awful, but my roots were still very obviously dark brown. So Tuesday I managed to coerce Jenn into helping me re-bleach my roots and ends. It looks better. You can still tell it was a home job, but I think it's good enough. I only left the bleach on for about fifteen minutes, so my hair is lighter. However, my hair does not bleach blonde and this was the second weirdness about this bleaching business. My hair bleaches this odd orange-ish colour with red highlights. I love it! Because my hair had this undertone to it, even though it's an odd colour by itself, it still looks good on me. I like it enough that I'm going to hold off on dying my hair purple and enjoy this unusual shade I ended up with.
( What my hair looks like now. And my spiffy new glasses if you haven't seen them yet. )

I found a good deal on beads at Hobby Lobby on Tuesday when Jenn and I went shopping. I got about $30 worth of beads for seven. It was too good to pass up, especially since it has colours that I will probably need for costuming for our troupe. That night was Game of Thrones night. ( Gaming stuff cut. I think it's interesting, you probably won't and don't care. )

Today was the first day I did custom framing orders at work! It was pretty nice to be useful instead of having to go bother the other employees to get them to help customers. I think I did three or four complete orders today, plus another two that folks are going to come back later. I enjoyed doing the custom framing. The hours go by much faster; customers are bad at making decisions. I am very not happy with work on another level, though. I only have twenty hours of work scheduled for next week. I work all day Sunday, truck Thursday morning, and Saturday all afternoon and evening. Luckily, I have a USPS employment test Friday afternoon and I'm not working. It's for a part time position, but I take what I can get. Part time usually turns into full time. Full time with the USPS at $15 bucks an hour, really good benefits, and HOLIDAYS! I could get holidays!! I find that more exciting than making fifteen dollars an hour. I just need something other than retail. I would appreciate any good vibes my way with getting out of retail if folks are inclined to do any sort of wishing or praying or whatever. After I saw the schedule, I was seriously thinking about CCCC. *sigh* I know I keep crapping out on school, but I just keep coming back to the how to pay for it especially with part time work hours. I can't win against myself.

This evening John and I played a two player game of Runebound. I love that game. I was ridiculously easy and too high powered of a game with just two people. There need to be some sort of limits on XP counters or something. I wish there was a way to lengthen the game as far as playing more bad guys before End Game, rather than just the long games because of the number of people playing. Ehh. Tomorrow is just a half day at work. Saturday is work just in the evening and I'll be dancing in the morning. I need to get a copy of the music so I can practice. I also need to start choreography on my solo and a troupe number I'm dying to do for us. Perhaps tomorrow night and Friday morning.

Dying my hair has this weird affect on my thinking... I want tattoos or new piercings. Any time I colour my hair that happens. But then, I normally want tattoos or new piercings. I hate society.

I was working today- what a shock. As I was walking towards the front at one point, a gentleman was entering into the first set of our doors. From the angle I glimpsed him at, he looked exactly like Phillip. Thinner than when I would have last seen him, but about right from the last photo Phlp sent me. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest. I was about ready to drop what i was carrying and run to the door.

If only.

...
...

Even after so long I have yet to get over what a strong connection I felt to him. I am still convinced we know each other from some previous life... that's the only reason I can come up with to explain the familiarity we had. It gets me to thinking strange thoughts... perhaps we were supposed to somehow reach some sort of middle ground together. Learn to give a little and learn to change a little - that's a laugh with our personalities. It's very weird to feel equally strong that we should still be together but that we could never have stayed together. I don't think I'll ever get over those opposing feelings.

I wish I could get the universe to explain to me why it is that when I don't want to be bothered that is exactly when there are large groups of people wherever I go who want to talk... and ask how I am. Yet at the same time, when I desperately crave interaction with others the most that is when folks are all out and about and busy. This happens whether get togethers are planned or spontaneous. I wish those patterns could cross a bit more instead of being mostly opposing. God likes to laugh at me, I'm sure of it.